Masks
Hello Everyone
It has been a few weeks since my last post and I cannot believe that we are at the end of March already…We are about to enter Q2 of this year and I only realised this the other day when my line manager asked me how I am doing with my goals, which I thought was almost ridiculous at the time because in my head, I only had just set them. Where has the time gone?!
This week I want to share my thoughts and some observations, following a work event I attended. Though I like events such as this one, as they offer an opportunity to spend time with colleagues in a different setting, I am generally not particularly comfortable in such surroundings. I cannot think of any other way to describe the reason for this, apart from feeling more exposed in such settings and while I was packing my travel bag for my one-night stay the night before, I caught myself thinking that I should also pack some my business mask as well. I openly admit that I have several of them…I can sometimes visualise them hanging on the wall, staring back at me and waiting for their turn to offer me some protection when needed.
It's true that we all wear metaphorical masks at times, concealing aspects of ourselves that we may feel vulnerable about, or fear others may not accept or know others may not approve of.
We’re all hiding behind something. All of us, whether we’re aware of it or not, whether out of fear of judgment or a desire to maintain a certain image, we wear masks – whether big, colourful and bold or discreet and simple - these masks can muffle our true voices and create a disconnect between who we present ourselves to be and who we truly are, as well as obscure our perception of someone with their real self. I genuinely think that nobody is 100% the same person in private and public, no matter how comfortable they may feel in their own skin. And that is ok, as it is part of human nature.
The harm in this is when the person, or aspects of their persona, hiding behind the mask, are uglier than the image presented. There have been so many times when I see someone at an event and then when I meet them one-on-one, it’s a totally different picture. The disappointment I have experienced when meeting someone who doesn't align with the mask they presented, especially in our current mostly online reality, accounts to more than once; and this event was no exception.
Over my 24-hour stay and a series of talks, followed by a team building event, drinks and dinner, where people were more relaxed and maybe a little inebriated with less control, I sadly experienced disappointment and shock when the business mask came off and true glimpses of the real person became visible. In all instances, though insignificant for most people or even hardly noticeable, the true self exposed was ugly, harsh and inappropriate and when the evening was finally over, reduced a female colleague to tears.
The details of what was said and the behaviours exposed are neither the important point I am trying to make, nor mine to share. But the realisation that in a safe working environment where equality is loudly advocated, there are still some masks camouflaging the truer thoughts of some people. And that is very sad!
I don’t want to say much more…but I have not been able to shake the feeling of unfairness and anger that consumed me when trying to console my colleague or when trying to tell myself to trust that masks are not worn or needed, depending on who we are – strong or weak, vocal or shy.