Equality vs Equity

Hello Everyone

It was a hectic week, filled with meetings, travel and a few ups-and-downs…but as I am sat here on Saturday morning waiting for the sunrise with my warm cup of coffee, I can finally breathe and try to make sense of my thoughts.

A few things caught my attention this week…watching videos of various women for Women’s International Day (with some much better than others!), reading the Pay Gap report that was shared with us and trying to make sense of the data and variances, finding out about some ‘innocent’ gestures a female colleague experienced during GC tender interviews…but most of all, observing the interaction of a mum with her kids, while in Frankfurt airport.

A mum with her twins, a boy and a girl of about 5 years old, were sat opposite me at the gate, while waiting for our flight to board. It was late in the evening, both children were tired, fidgety, looked generally quite bored and close to the point of pre-destructiveness (those who have children, will know exactly what I mean). At that moment, we were advised that our flight was delayed and to avoid a tantrum, the mum started pulling food and treats from her bag to keep the kids entertained.

The boy, who was bigger than his sister, was encouraged to choose what he wanted, independently grab and open packages, was not told off when he spilled things on himself (or his sister) and was allowed to throw things on the floor and make a mess when he didn’t like something, without any comment or reaction from his mother.

The girl on the other hand who could barely reach the stool the food was on, was mostly handed what her brother rejected, was told off when she got a drop of strawberry goo on her pink dress and faced her mother’s scowl and snappiness, when she voiced her dislike about her mushy banana, even though she still kept eating it.

I know this incident does not reflect most mothers or how we have all been raised…or maybe it does, depending on where we are from, our culture, our beliefs and all other things that form who we each are. But, nonetheless, it still shocked me.

I had just observed two siblings, and twins at that, who really should be treated equally by their mother, about something so simple as having a snack at the airport, actually being treated in a completely different and unequal way. How will this little girl grow up to feel important when even her own mother doesn’t help her feel equally enabled? How is she going to feel equally confident as her brother, when even about a choice of treats, she faces more obstacles and less respect that she deserves?

When the boarding announcement finally came, I was very happy to stand up and move away, not so much because I was tired and wanted to get home, but more because I had to actively try and hide my shock about the unfairness I was witnessing.

I have not stopped thinking about that little girl since…and though she is only roughly 5 years old, I cannot stop thinking about how frustrated she probably feels every day…about how her twin brother always probably comes first...about how she is taught daily the complete opposite from gender equality…

While a lot of us have probably experienced or witnessed frustrating moments due to being female or in a close relationship with females, we are lucky to live in a reality where actually gender equality is encouraged and actively practiced. But is that enough?

Gender equality focuses on ensuring that all genders have access to the same rights, responsibilities, and opportunities. Yet, females still sometimes face more barriers in life than their male counterparts.

I think that the key to removing such barriers is to shift the mindset away from gender equality to that of gender equity. While gender equality is simply focused on providing males and females with the same equal choices and opportunities, gender equity acknowledges that females may require different support to achieve true equality. In the case of the little girl, the placement of the treats on a surface she could actually reach and maybe some fairness from her mother would have been enough.

This cultural shift requires all people to understand the difference between equity and equality and provide extra support to females if needed, rather than just offer them the same choices as males. And it starts with each of us recognizing and removing the barriers that prevent those opportunities from becoming a reality for many women.

Gender equity leads to actual gender equality; and actual gender equality means equal outcomes, equal enjoyment of things, equal choices and equal rewards for both males and females.

I will end my ramblings with a wish that the little girl will one day experience fairness.