Brain Fog, Libido or Simply Being Your Amazing Self

Hello Everyone

Gearing up to the Easter break...sadly the weather is not great, so I went to gym, worked hard on parts of my body that I don't necessarily feel proud of and have now settled in front of my computer with a generous glass of red and feeling like I need to share some thoughts.

In fact, my ramblings today are inspired by a meet with a good friend earlier in the week. She is the one who somehow inspired me to start writing and whilst catching up the other day, she said something that stuck with me...and after having my internal conversations about whether I should vocalise my thoughts or not, here we are....

For any males that may read this, I apologize. But then, why should I?...When most of what I am expressing stems from being frustrated by being me in my professional (and mostly male) environment...

There comes a moment in every woman’s life - usually sometime between juggling twelve tabs in her brain and wondering why she walked into a room -when she pauses and thinks...Is this brain fog? Is it my libido? Or am I, in fact, operating at such an elite level of female excellence that the system simply can’t keep up?

Let’s explore....

The Mysterious Case of the Missing Thought
We've all been there....You’re mid-sentence. You’re articulate. You’re making a point so sharp, you would pat yourself in the back if you could....And then - poof....The thought vanishes....Gone. Evaporated into the same dimension where hair ties, lone socks, and your will to attend one more pointless meeting reside.

Naturally, someone nearby, often a man, who has confidently explained something incorrectly at least three times that day, jokes and says (while trying to be inclusive) -" Maybe it is brain fog?..."

Ah yes... Brain fog. The all-purpose explanation for when a woman’s cognitive performance dares to dip below a “flawless machine.”
Never mind that you managed three competing priorities before 9am, anticipated six problems before they happened, remembered everyone’s birthday except your own....as well as grappled with the laundry, walked the dogs, did the shopping and still made it to work no time.

But yes, clearly the issue is fog. Not, the sheer volume of invisible labour your brain is processing like a NASA control room. But female hormones...or lack of, depending on your age...

In addition to fog, there is also libido. A topic that appears to concern absolutely everyone except the woman herself, who is mostly just trying to drink a coffee while it’s still hot...to maybe get rid of her brain fog.

Apparently, a woman’s sex drive is meant to exist in a perfectly calibrated state:
- High enough to be fun
- Low enough to be respectable
- Consistent enough to never inconvenience anyone else

Any deviation triggers concern.
Tired? She must be hormonal. Busy? Something has to be off. Not in the mood after a 12-hour day of being competent? A medical mystery.

It couldn’t possibly be that desire, like energy, focus, and patience, is influenced by things like exhaustion, stress, or the crushing mental load of remembering literally everything for everyone.

Let’s pathologise this, of course...clearly that seems reasonable.

But here’s a controversial theory: what if nothing is wrong?
What if forgetting why you opened the fridge, is not a neurological decline, but a by-product of thinking about 47 other things at the same time....Not wanting to engage romantically after a long day, is not a hormonal failure, but a sign of basic human limits...Feeling mentally scattered sometimes is actually completely normal.

Ground breaking, I know! But shockingly, this idea struggles to gain traction, because it lacks a certain drama. There’s no product to sell. No supplement to prescribe. No neat little label to apply. At the end of the day, “Perfectly capable woman navigating a complex, demanding life” doesn’t quite have the same ring as “hormonal imbalance,” does it?

And here comes the truth...the Performance Paradox that society subconsciously forces upon us.

Modern women are expected to be professionally exceptional, emotionally available, socially engaged, physically radiant, sexually responsive, mentally sharp at all times and anything else that may be required in an ad hoc moment.

And of course, women need to do all of this while appearing effortlessly relaxed, like they just floated out of a wellness retreat sponsored by serenity itself.

So when something slips, when you forget a word, cancel a plan, or simply cannot summon enthusiasm for anything beyond your duvet, it’s treated as a malfunction.

But here’s the twist: the system you’re operating in is the malfunction. You’re not dropping balls because you’re failing. You’re dropping balls, because you’ve been handed too many to begin with.

Of course, living in the world we live in, there is a solution to fix the problem. In fact, there are several solutions. Adaptogens, Hormone-balancing teas, Journals that gently imply you’re the problem, Podcasts hosted by people who wake up at 4:30am voluntarily...And while some of these things may genuinely help, there’s something deeply amusing about the underlying message -“If you could just optimise yourself a bit more, you’d finally be acceptable.” As though you’re a slightly glitchy app in need of an update....

And, here is the uncomfortable truth...You are likely not broken.
You are likely tired. You are likely overstretched. You are likely holding more than is visible or acknowledged. And occasionally, your brain says, “We’re going to misplace a thought now, just to keep things interesting.”
Fair enough.

So, the next time you lose your train of thought, feel mentally foggy, have zero interest in anything beyond silence...try a different internal script.
Instead of: “What’s wrong with me?”
Consider: “What am I managing that no one can see?”
And perhaps, more importantly: “Why is the expectation that I should handle all of this seamlessly?”

I will leave you with my final thoughts on the matter (before I forget them)
Brain fog? Sometimes....
Libido fluctuations? Of course...
Evidence of inadequacy? Hardly...

More often than not, these are just side effects of being a highly capable human operating in a world that quietly expects you to be superhuman.
So yes, maybe it's brain fog....Or maybe, it’s hormones...Or maybe, just maybe, you’re an amazing female whose brain occasionally takes a brief intermission, because it’s been carrying the entire production.

And frankly, that seems less like a problem and more like a performance review worth celebrating.

Enjoy your long weekend.
Until next time...